I found myself sitting at my desk. While I wasn't doing anything physically strenuous, I still felt completely exhausted.

Trying to remember all the things. Is that billed paid. Did I make that appt. What do I need to make dinner. Does my kid have a school event this week. And, and, and.

Sound familiar? Then like me, you are also carrying the Invisible Load.

What is the Invisible Load?

While the physical labor of motherhood (the laundry, the cooking, the driving) is visible, the mental labor is not. The Invisible Load is all the managing, planning, and constant tracking of the family needs, schedules, and emotional well-being.

It’s being "CEO" of the household, but never getting to actually clocks out.

When we head into May, this load doubles. There are end-of-year concerts, teacher gifts, summer camp registrations, and the pressure to make Mother’s Day "perfect."

But at time this invisible load can become too heavy, so we have to set boundaries.

3 Ways to Lighten the Invisible Load

The "Fair Play" Audit

Sit down for twenty minutes and list the things that are currently living in your head. Is it the summer wardrobe transition? The pet’s vet appointment? The meal planning?

Once it’s on paper, it’s no longer invisible. Pick two items on that list and explicitly hand them off. "Handing off" doesn't mean asking for help; it means giving the other person total ownership from start to finish.

The Power of the "Strategic No"

May is the month of the "Ask." School committees, neighborhood potlucks, and family get-togethers.

Before you say "yes," ask yourself: Does this add joy, or does it just add to my list? It is okay to be the mom who doesn't participate in the optional bake sale this year.

A "no" to an outside request is a "yes" to your own peace of mind.

Define Your "After-Hours"

Establish a time when the "Mom CEO" desk is closed. Whether it’s 8:00 PM or right after dinner, let the family know that non-emergency requests (like "where are my soccer cleats?") need to wait until morning.

Guarding that time for your own rest is essential for your mental health.

"Motherhood Unfiltered" Series Week 1 Challenge

This is Part 1 of our "Motherhood Unfiltered" series.

What is one thing you are "resigning" from this May to protect your energy? Is it the elaborate teacher gift? The Pinterest-perfect birthday theme?

Let’s drop one heavy thing from our load together.

Next week, we’re talking about the women who came before us and how to honor multi-generational traditions without the stress.